Machete Kills In Space [CRACKED]
Machete Kills in Space, also known as Machete Kills Again... In Space, was teased during the second movie as in a fake trailer which called the project a "Coming Attraction". The footage features the kind of grainy action that will be familiar with B-movie fans, and shows Trejo venturing into space to battle aliens, even igniting a lightsaber-style machete. Thanks to this hugely crowd-pleasing image, Machete Kills in Space has been at the tippy top of many a movie fan's wish list ever since.
Machete Kills in Space
Rodriguez recently resurrected the superhero world of The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, a movie he directed all the way back in 2005, for the spin-off We Can Be Heroes, adding a lot of weight to the idea that he could still bring Machete back for one last kill...in space! This comes to us courtesy of Discussing Film.
Machete Cortez and agent Sartana Rivera attempt to arrest corrupt military members involved in a weapons deal with a Mexican drug cartel group. The gangsters wipe out the military team, but they in turn are wiped by another party of masked men headed by a luchador-masked leader who kills Sartana. Machete is arrested and hanged by corrupt Sheriff Doakes and Deputy Clebourne. However, he survives the hanging and the officers receive a call from the US President Rathcock. At the White House, Rathcock offers to wipe Machete's criminal record and grant him citizenship if he can confirm a threat from Marcos Mendez, a psychopath who wants to fire a nuclear missile at Washington, D.C. if the American government does not stop the cartels and the corrupt Mexican government.
Machete learns that Mendez has wired the missile's launch device to his own heart so that if he dies, the missile fires. Mendez kills the device's designer and activates its 24-hour timer. Killing Zaror along the way, Machete intends to escort Mendez to the US and find a way to disarm the missile. Mendez shares that he is a self-proclaimed secret agent who tried to expose his corrupt superiors, only to be betrayed and forced to watch his wife and family being tortured and killed, causing him to develop the split personality.
Machete wakes up to find himself in a healing tank. He meets businessman and weapons inventor Luther Voz, who has kept Mendez's beating heart preserved in a jar. Voz shares his plan to manipulate extremists throughout the world to fire nuclear weapons at each other, to escape to an orbiting space station to rebuild society in space, and to have Machete succeed Zaror as a prototype for his army of cloned enforcers. Machete escapes the facility, meeting up with his old comrade Luz, who then refers him to Osiris, a former enemy who has since joined Luz's network and could possibly disarm the device.
Machete contacts Vasquez to update her on progress, but is betrayed and ambushed at their meeting since Vasquez has sided with Voz. Machete follows her to the desert by jumping on her vehicle's rooftop, but is thrown off. Machete gets a ride from El Camaleón, who tries to kill him one last time, but he escapes, leaving El Camaleón to be killed by a racist group of rednecks on border patrol. Machete and Luz's Network infiltrate a fundraiser at Voz's base of operations, but Voz shoots the jar and kills Osiris. Machete realizes Voz was the masked man who killed Sartana and fights him. He severely burns Voz's face, forcing him to retreat and don a metallic silver mask. Meanwhile, Vasquez shoots Luz in her good eye, completely blinding her. Luz fights and kills Vasquez, but she in turn is frozen in carbonite and captured by Voz.
While Voz and his group depart to space, Machete jumps on Mendez's missile as it launches, disarming it in mid-air, and sending it into the Rio Grande. Rathcock's forces retrieve Machete; he tells him that the other missiles have been disarmed. Learning that Voz is in space, Rathcock then asks Machete to follow them there on a SpaceX rocket.
Machete Kills in Space was teased during the second movie as a fake trailer which called the project a "Coming Attraction." Considering the B-movie sensibilities of the first two films, fans didn't think it was too off base to expect Machete to go to space and that's why so many fans still desire it. Actor Danny Trejo is also aware of the fan demand and he once said he would be more than willing to write the film himself just to see it get made. Trejo stated "Machete, Machete Kills, if Robert would ever get off his ass, he'd write Machete Kills in Space! I might write it (laughs)."
Machete is tasked by President Rathcock to take out Voz after trying to start a nuclear holocaust on Earth. Before his mass exodus to a space station which he built. While kidnapping revolutionary Luz who is frozen in carbonite. Along with a bunch of Mexican-Americans who are forced to work/build on the space station.
The mock trailer for "Machete Kills Again... In Space" goes the "Gravity" route, taking Robert Rodriguez's campy characters to -- you guessed it -- space. The trailer, which debuted last month in theaters alongside "Machete Kills," is decidedly "Star Wars"-esque, even (stunt) casting the "PYD" singer as a C3PO-meets-R2-D2 hybrid called "Bleep." Needless to say, Machete doesn't take kindly to him.
Will it be awesome, or will it be like that time we saw James Bond go to space in Moonraker? In other words, will it be completely unnecessary? We shall see. You can watch the Machete Kills in Space trailer below to get a taste of the crazy shenanigans that are coming our way.
The scene, played straight, got one of the biggest laughs at a recent screening as Gibson's character, Luther Voz, showed the Mexican mercenary Machete (Danny Trejo) around his space plant, rolling along at dizzying speeds of four miles per hour. That photo is exclusive to us.
It has already been established in the climax of the second film that Machete is sent to space to fight the Evil Man in the Silver Mask. However, not much else is revealed about the plot. Since the whole point of the franchise is to be outrageously over the top, we think that Machete will face a barrage of assassins yet again. Furthermore, it would also befit the narrative if his allies and/or enemies, who have died in previous films, somehow come back to life and support/deter him from his mission.
The proper film starts more or less where the first one left off, with title character Machete (Danny Trejo) and his partner/lover Agent Sartana (Jessica Alba) fighting crime. But when tragedy strikes (along with three different slaughters of competing groups of highly trained soldiers) Machete not only finds himself on a path to vengeance, but on the trail of an insanely elaborate conspiracy to destroy the world and start a new colony in space.
THIS WEEKEND AlfonsoCuaron's space thriller Gravity easilyheld onto the box office crown, Tom Hanks had his biggest opening in nearlyfive years, only one family film is playing in over 500 theaters and thosewere the only films to make more than $4M this weekend. 041b061a72